First off, I just wanna say that YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!! Seriously. And now there are 2 more of you than when I last posted which is AWESOME and I'm just so glad that you guys are following and commenting and just being really cool cats. ;)
Sorry. Had to get a little gush-y for a second.
Now... A and I are back in action! Which I was really excited about and grateful for yesterday when I first saw him since Saturday and we talked normally... and today I'm still happy (because whenever we're having a good convo I'm happy!), but beginning to grow impatient again.
That seems to be what I do. Even if something is good, if it isn't good enough it needs to change. But usually when I try to change it, I just screw things up. (This applies to my eating as well.)
I have begun to realize, though, that when I'm at a good place anxiety and/ or depression-wise, this perfectionism becomes easier to control... and then I end up screwing up things much less. Ironic.
But I am an ironic person.
Anyhow, now that I'm done analyzing myself... that's what's up. I'm feeling all, I wanna beee with youuu. Which is totally gross... but totally true. I'm feeling sooo past talking in the kitchen with various third people always present.
I wanna go out, man! Out on the town! Have an actual reason to put on a dress kind of out.
I hope he didn't mean it when he was all ehhh about dating someone in our organization. I hope he was just following J's lead...
And now my mind travels back in time to the after-party. It always seems to end up there... the beginning and the end.
Anyhow, I SHOULDN'T be impatient. I've began volunteering, so hopefully that will keep me sane(r)... otherwise, I'll have to give meditation or something a go or I will go INSANE... and/ or screw things up irreversibly this time.
I'm going to end this now, for these posts have become ridiculously long. Thinspo post to follow.