Tuesday, July 19, 2011

we're back!

First off, I just wanna say that YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!! Seriously. And now there are 2 more of you than when I last posted which is AWESOME and I'm just so glad that you guys are following and commenting and just being really cool cats. ;)

Sorry. Had to get a little gush-y for a second.

Now... A and I are back in action! Which I was really excited about and grateful for yesterday when I first saw him since Saturday and we talked normally... and today I'm still happy (because whenever we're having a good convo I'm happy!), but beginning to grow impatient again.

That seems to be what I do. Even if something is good, if it isn't good enough it needs to change. But usually when I try to change it, I just screw things up. (This applies to my eating as well.)

I have begun to realize, though, that when I'm at a good place anxiety and/ or depression-wise, this perfectionism becomes easier to control... and then I end up screwing up things much less. Ironic.

But I am an ironic person.

Anyhow, now that I'm done analyzing myself... that's what's up. I'm feeling all, I wanna beee with youuu. Which is totally gross... but totally true. I'm feeling sooo past talking in the kitchen with various third people always present.

I wanna go out, man! Out on the town! Have an actual reason to put on a dress kind of out. 

I hope he didn't mean it when he was all ehhh about dating someone in our organization. I hope he was just following J's lead...

And now my mind travels back in time to the after-party. It always seems to end up there... the beginning and the end.

Anyhow, I SHOULDN'T be impatient. I've began volunteering, so hopefully that will keep me sane(r)... otherwise, I'll have to give meditation or something a go or I will go INSANE... and/ or screw things up irreversibly this time.

I'm going to end this now, for these posts have become ridiculously long. Thinspo post to follow.



  1. You sound so upbeat! I love it. I'm glad things are back on track with A. Now you just need a night out on the town!

    Anxiety is funny that way... things never resolve until we find a way to deal with the anxiety about how they're going to resolve! xx

  2. I hope you do get to put on that dress, go out and have a ball! Love you. <3. XXX.

  3. amazing that you're feeling so great sweetie, I love the surge of happiness! I love dressing up and going out, it is amazing fun, great boost for confidence and you usually have a lot(or too few) memories from the night to make you laugh. xx

  4. p.s. thank you for your comment on my last post :) appreciate it a lot x

  5. This is the best thing you can do- going out and just live. :]
    Thanks for your comments on my blog.
    You can actually read it now.
    I put a translater on my page, so if you want... :D


  6. Love the attitude! Get out there and enjoy life!

  7. Best of luck to you! (: I wouldn't worry about it too much, things like that tend to work themselves out <3

  8. Stay positive, and good luck! Just go out and have fun! :D

  9. I hope you get an occasion to put on a hot dress and go out cavorting! Good luck with the boy. <3