Meh (or "Why Does Winter Break Have to End Ever?")

The last few days, I've been eating about 1500 cal. Not horrible (like, say, 2500-3000), but not great.

Also, I go back to school tomorrow. Classes still don't start for another week, but I don't want to go. Hurting my knee really screwed up my fitness plan, so I feel like I don't look as good as I could (or should) which is disappointing. So I'm kind of terrified of seeing S; I'm pretty sure my weight doesn't make a huge difference (he liked me last semester when I was starting to go off the rails) but he's a bit of a health-nut sort so I feel like I should look good for him. And it's not as if it could hurt my chances with him.

I'm also kind of dreading seeing A because I'm afraid that he's still hooking up with that girl. And I'm afraid that they'll continue to hook up for a while and that things will eventually become serious-ish.

But right now, I'm in the dark, so I shouldn't assume the worst. It's a bad habit.

On the bright side, I'll get to see my friends and I'll have complete control over my food again, so hopefully I can finally get fully back on track with that. And then once my knee is completely healed, I'll start running and going to my yoga class again...

Bright side. Bright side. Bright side.

Dammit. I still really don't want to go now, though. I'm enjoying being with my fam and our new dog and I'll miss all of them when I go. And the next time I see them will probably be this summer.

But I'm going to stop now so that I don't get worked up. Last night, I ended up crying in my room, clutching my dog. Ugh. (tres embarrassing)

Anyhow, I'm sorry that I haven't been too active since I've been back; I'm trying to make the most out of my time with my family. Bust rest assured, after tomorrow I should be back in full-force.

Take care,
K