Thursday, October 13, 2011

Two months, too long

I resent college for making me so crazy that I haven't been on here for two months. Not getting to interact with anyone who knows about/ understands this side of me is emotionally exhausting, and frankly, makes me feel like I'm quickly approaching crazy.

Nice ego boost, eh?

I need to go to sleep and I've had an absolutely dreadful day, so the quicker it ends, the better. Two highlights:

The good- I'd been having more and more slip-ups lately, but I got weighed today at the clinic (bloated AND wearing heavy-ish clothes since it was cold-- 4 lbs, maybe? idk) and I was 106 lbs. I'm pretty sure I was 107 the last time they weighed me. So that's something.

The bad- Remember how C was trying to get me together with A? Well, apparently he has shown interest in her since last month and now she likes him. She told me this and I cried outside of the library and people stared.

I was nice about it-- very classy-- but inside I'm crushed and the thought of them liking each other makes me nauseas. It makes me want to dig my nails into my skin and rip myself out.

And take a leave-of-absense from school. That too.

But I won't do either of these things.  I don't know what I'm going to do...

Anyhow, I've missed you guys. Hopefully, this is the beginning of some semi-regular blogging! And I need to catch up on your blogs. I hope you've been happy and are doing fantastically!

Take care,


  1. Man, that is low... I hope you resolve things with C, it must be really hard to see her with A!

  2. The same thing with C and A happened to me once, I was devastated. I got over it though, but it took a while. It was hard seeing them together. Just hang on, I hope things get better. xx